Being in a committed relationship is a wonderful experience. Two people in a sacred union, sharing love, responsibilities, perhaps children … their lives. For some, nothing is more important in this life. But what about attractions to people outside the relationship -- from mild flirtations to overt emotional affairs? Even in the most committed relationships, there inevitably arise … [Read more...]
Confronting others but finding yourself
A common misconception holds that confrontation is synonymous with aggression, hostility and rage, and therefore must be avoided all costs. That no good can come from confrontation and it will all end in "tears" or violence. This is far from the case; an important aspect of our wellness is the ability to confront others. And if we can do this in a reasonable and articulate way, confrontation … [Read more...]
Anxiety isn’t always a bad thing
In the final decades of the 19th century, a young Sigmund Freud was hammering out his theories and exploring the dense and complex world of the human psyche. Over time Freud fine-tuned his work and pondered what was then known as "hysteria." He offered in a paper a new way of looking at anxiety. Freud felt there were aspects of anxiety that might be useful, and in turn he coined the term … [Read more...]
The rocky road to presumptions
Assumptions and presumptions. Tricky stuff. Here's an example: You're going on a first date but at the last minute receive a call canceling -- a family emergency has come up. Your date is very sorry ... hoping you will be willing to reschedule ... it can't be helped. In that moment there are a couple of choices. The path of presumption says that he or she didn't really want to go out … [Read more...]
When cheating signals larger truths
"If he ever had an affair, I would leave right away and never look back!" Sounds like a plan ... until it actually happens. Of course, we want to believe that life offers such cut-and-dried solutions to painful problems. But when infidelity raises its head, walking out probably isn't the best solution. An affair can signal distress in a marriage (or partnership) in which both parties are … [Read more...]
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