Many of us fear intimacy, for it often summons the unknown -- and the unknown can be scary. Still, intimacy is what we crave the most. We'd rather take the risk than not, in order to find that deep connection with others in which we feel that we're seen, heard and cared for. Fear of being hurt often prevents us from "being" with others the way we long to be treated. Here's a good approach … [Read more...]
What a one-night stand can tell you
Have you ever had a one-night stand? Are you thinking of having one? I don't mean an affair that occurred over weeks or months. I mean a one-night stand. One time. One night. Ever thought about why you wanted to have a fling -- or why you had one? Looking back, did it help or hurt you or your marriage or romantic partnership? Did you confess to your spouse or partner? Did that help or … [Read more...]
Vive la différence! Well, for the most part …
What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and all things nice. Studies and life experience repeatedly show us that girls will be girls and boys will be boys -- for the most part. But what does that mean for us all when it comes to the world of relationships? I can give you a dollar a minute for each time my husband has said to me, "Yes but what’s the point of this?" or, "What’s the … [Read more...]
Facebook and Twitter and iPhones, oh my!
In this age of constant electronic communication, we are in danger of something being lost. Our human connections! Take a quick look in the window at Starbucks: How many coffee drinkers are working on their computers or talking on cell phones, shut off from everyone else in the cafe. We're increasingly expressing our feelings via text, email and social networks. Maybe with an emoticon for … [Read more...]
Fighting fair and protecting yourself: a guide
Here are my Rules of Fair Fighting: 1. When involved in an argument, speak about yourself, your experience, your feelings. Use language such as, "I felt angry" or "I felt sad" or "That caused me pain." Avoid: "You were an idiot" and "You made me mad!" Only the behavior of the other person caused you to feel a feeling. But whatever you felt was unique to you; the other person probably felt … [Read more...]