The notion that we attract who we are and how we walk in the world perhaps has some merit, but the concept misses some important markers. Deep within us lies an abiding place: One full of creativity, joy, dreaming. But also with deep relational hopes, losses, pain and longings. Longings connected to the pain of lost relationships -- due to an early demise, rejection or an absence. The … [Read more...]
Finding the good in ‘goodbye’
Why do we avoid long goodbyes with those we love? What is so unbearable about saying goodbye that we keep our most heartfelt sentiments short and to the point? "Goodbye" is one of the most necessary and important words in our language, yet one we often toss aside, hoping it will just simply go away. Why? Perhaps goodbye reflects both our vulnerability and deepest connection with those we … [Read more...]
Flirting, not straying — a question of balance
Being in a committed relationship is a wonderful experience. Two people in a sacred union, sharing love, responsibilities, perhaps children … their lives. For some, nothing is more important in this life. But what about attractions to people outside the relationship -- from mild flirtations to overt emotional affairs? Even in the most committed relationships, there inevitably arise … [Read more...]
Finding healing within the meaning
It's not unusual for people to hold on to anger over an event or behavior for years, or even decades. This can lead to great pain, sorrow and loss. Why do we cling so tenaciously to our deepest feelings? The answer can be layered and complex. A key aspect of transforming and integrating deep emotions -- necessary for our wellness and healing -- involves a subtle yet critical aspect of our … [Read more...]
The rocky road to presumptions
Assumptions and presumptions. Tricky stuff. Here's an example: You're going on a first date but at the last minute receive a call canceling -- a family emergency has come up. Your date is very sorry ... hoping you will be willing to reschedule ... it can't be helped. In that moment there are a couple of choices. The path of presumption says that he or she didn't really want to go out … [Read more...]
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