Have you ever had a one-night stand? Are you thinking of having one? I don't mean an affair that occurred over weeks or months. I mean a one-night stand. One time. One night. Ever thought about why you wanted to have a fling -- or why you had one? Looking back, did it help or hurt you or your marriage or romantic partnership? Did you confess to your spouse or partner? Did that help or … [Read more...]
Vive la différence! Well, for the most part …
What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and all things nice. Studies and life experience repeatedly show us that girls will be girls and boys will be boys -- for the most part. But what does that mean for us all when it comes to the world of relationships? I can give you a dollar a minute for each time my husband has said to me, "Yes but what’s the point of this?" or, "What’s the … [Read more...]
Facebook and Twitter and iPhones, oh my!
In this age of constant electronic communication, we are in danger of something being lost. Our human connections! Take a quick look in the window at Starbucks: How many coffee drinkers are working on their computers or talking on cell phones, shut off from everyone else in the cafe. We're increasingly expressing our feelings via text, email and social networks. Maybe with an emoticon for … [Read more...]
Fighting fair and protecting yourself: a guide
Here are my Rules of Fair Fighting: 1. When involved in an argument, speak about yourself, your experience, your feelings. Use language such as, "I felt angry" or "I felt sad" or "That caused me pain." Avoid: "You were an idiot" and "You made me mad!" Only the behavior of the other person caused you to feel a feeling. But whatever you felt was unique to you; the other person probably felt … [Read more...]
The mystery of you: Help your lover solve it
How many times do we refuse to ask for help from our life partners -- or not tell them how we feel about something -- because "they should already know." How many times have you heard yourself or someone else say: "If he (or she) really loved me, they would already know how I feel about this problem." Sorry to break the bad news: This is simply not true. Perhaps in a perfect world we might … [Read more...]