Even if a divorce is amicable and mutually agreed-upon, the children become particularly vulnerable. Seeing their parents break up brings major trauma. All children, somewhere deep inside, wish that everyone would stay together in a perfect world. When that doesn’t happen, there's a shattering that must be addressed. The pieces of valuable lives must put back together with sensitivity and … [Read more...]
Put your teen parenting skills to the test
Being a teen is doubly difficult. And scary. The following quiz is designed to walk you through some positive and effective ways of dealing with your teen. Answer all of the questions for a quick evaluation of your parenting style. (It might be easier to print out this quiz.) For each question, score yourself on a scale from 5 (best) to 0 (worst). Once you have a total, check your … [Read more...]
Co-parenting through divorce: an upside
These days the courts are filled with couples going through bitter and painful divorces. Who suffers the most? The children, of course. Caught in a web of bitter resentment, hostility and shame created by their parents, children have little or no defenses. They can't protect themselves against the rock that they are shattered -- unable to "choose" one parent over the other. Children love … [Read more...]
A healthy child makes for a healthy adult
For children to be mentally stable and to feel loved, they must be allowed to express their fears and pain of losses, as well as their hopes and longings. The parent or primary caregiver must listen to, bear the burden of and validate the child's thoughts and feelings with compassion, love, comfort and care. This is the cornerstone of creating a foundation of deep self worth and safety … [Read more...]
The subtle art of manipulation
Manipulation gets a bad rap. It's not always a bad thing. Sometimes manipulation can change a situation that might be headed in a harmful direction into a healing one. For example, Sarah, a teenager, is getting ready to go on her first date. She comes down the stairs and asks her parents if she looks OK. She is nervous, unsure of her appearance and could easily collapse into shame. … [Read more...]