Science tells us that boys and girls have marked distinctions and differences. Neither better nor worse. Neither good nor bad. Nonetheless these distinctions have significant impacts on how they walk in the world. For example, it often seems girls are more adept than boys at thoughtful communication. There are good reasons for this: Scientists and psychologists long have known that girls’ … [Read more...]
Taming the resentful mother
There is something startling about a mother demonstrating bitter and resentful behaviors toward her daughter. Something unnatural, confusing and disquieting. This dynamic should not exist in a normal mother-daughter relationship. Yet it occurs more than we would like to admit. But why -- and what impact does this have on a child who looks to a mother as all-encompassing protector, mentor, … [Read more...]
A 15-minute commitment to children
"Fully being with your child, wanting nothing, is quality time," wrote the childhood educator Magda Gerber in her book "Dear Parent: Caring for Infants with Respect." Gerber is known for teaching parents how to understand babies and how to interact with them from birth. She spent many years studying children who were overwhelmed by the absence of physical, psychological and emotional … [Read more...]
Coronavirus: What to tell the children
One thing to ponder while sharing information about catastrophes such as the Covid-19 outbreak with children: How much is too much to discuss? And how much is too little? Children are sponges, dependent by nature on caregivers for survival as well as their overall psychological and emotional well-being. They absorb whatever is shared with them, processing it unfiltered to varying degrees, … [Read more...]
A two-step approach to childhood pain
It is instinctual to intervene when a child is hurt, physically or emotionally -- to try to stop the young one's pain. Say when a child suffers a cut or a bruise. Or feels the emotional pain of losing a pet. Or reels from injurious comments made by a bully at school. Our inclination is to say something like, "It's OK; it’s not that bad." Or, "Honey you'll be OK -- just shake it off." Or the … [Read more...]
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