There is something startling about a mother demonstrating bitter and resentful behaviors toward her daughter. Something unnatural, confusing and disquieting. This dynamic should not exist in a normal mother-daughter relationship. Yet it occurs more than we would like to admit. But why -- and what impact does this have on a child who looks to a mother as all-encompassing protector, mentor, … [Read more...]
A 15-minute commitment to children
"Fully being with your child, wanting nothing, is quality time," wrote the childhood educator Magda Gerber in her book "Dear Parent: Caring for Infants with Respect." Gerber is known for teaching parents how to understand babies and how to interact with them from birth. She spent many years studying children who were overwhelmed by the absence of physical, psychological and emotional … [Read more...]
Coronavirus: What to tell the children
One thing to ponder while sharing information about catastrophes such as the Covid-19 outbreak with children: How much is too much to discuss? And how much is too little? Children are sponges, dependent by nature on caregivers for survival as well as their overall psychological and emotional well-being. They absorb whatever is shared with them, processing it unfiltered to varying degrees, … [Read more...]
A two-step approach to childhood pain
It is instinctual to intervene when a child is hurt, physically or emotionally -- to try to stop the young one's pain. Say when a child suffers a cut or a bruise. Or feels the emotional pain of losing a pet. Or reels from injurious comments made by a bully at school. Our inclination is to say something like, "It's OK; it’s not that bad." Or, "Honey you'll be OK -- just shake it off." Or the … [Read more...]
Siblings: the bitter and the sweet
While psychology -- in particular psychoanalysis -- so frequently focuses on early childhood experiences, it's surprising to find that relatively little has been written on the subject of siblings. Lately, however, researchers have found that in many ways one's siblings have a great impact on a person -- in childhood, of course, but also on the direction of later life. How that person views … [Read more...]