We frequently are reminded of the need "to give" in our lives. Giving makes us feel better, more worthy, more noble. Heart-warming morality tales such as "The Giving Tree" and "A Christmas Carol" remind us of the transformations we can go experience when opening our hearts and thinking of others -- instead of, "So what's in it for me?" These sentiments go a long way toward developing our … [Read more...]
‘Shame rage’ and the Death of Love
One of the more defining dynamics that can cause the Death of Love is what's called the shame-rage cycle. One partner shames the other by way of critical, abusive remarks and the other responds with defensive rage in an attempt to protect herself or himself from verbal or emotional assault. Once this point-counterpoint cycle begins, one or both partners are likely to resort to some kind of … [Read more...]
The child as adult: a balancing act
In a wonderful world we have balance. We achieve balance with the presence of two structures. 1. The outer world: The love of our family, the value of our jobs, our responsibilities, our important relationships and our not-so-important relationships. The outward important manifestation of our daily lives. 2. The inner world, which possesses and reflects our creative lives. Also our … [Read more...]
A teen can be your greatest teacher
Treat your children and teens with compassion, and take what they have to say seriously. Admit and come to terms with the fact that your children feel pain and loneliness and shame more than you know. Realize that you have been instrumental in creating their pain and loneliness -- not entirely responsible, but you certainly have contributed. You have a shadow too, one that was created as a … [Read more...]
Depression: Don’t suffer needlessly
Depression affects millions of Americans every year. If untreated, depression can become a debilitating and dangerous disease. There are many reasons for depression and there are many treatment approaches to help people recover. It's important to recognize some of the symptoms and not minimize or deny them. They can sneak up on you. Are you experiencing any of the following? 1. … [Read more...]