It is instinctual to intervene when a child is hurt, physically or emotionally -- to try to stop the young one's pain. Say when a child suffers a cut or a bruise. Or feels the emotional pain of losing a pet. Or reels from injurious comments made by a bully at school. Our inclination is to say something like, "It's OK; it’s not that bad." Or, "Honey you'll be OK -- just shake it off." Or the … [Read more...]
Siblings: the bitter and the sweet
While psychology -- in particular psychoanalysis -- so frequently focuses on early childhood experiences, it's surprising to find that relatively little has been written on the subject of siblings. Lately, however, researchers have found that in many ways one's siblings have a great impact on a person -- in childhood, of course, but also on the direction of later life. How that person views … [Read more...]
When adult children reject parents
Being estranged from your adult child can be one of the most agonizing experiences in life. If your adult child has severed the connection, you undoubtedly have experienced pain and trauma. The reasons for these breaks vary; sometimes it is never completely clear why such a hard loss occurs. If this is the case in your life, now is the time for self-reflection and examination. An exploration of … [Read more...]
In small towns across the United States
This article introduces a specific and potentially harmful type of trauma-stress syndrome, typically experienced within family systems. To date, this syndrome -- domestic emotional distress disorder (DEDD) -- has not been submitted for consideration as a formal diagnosis by the psychiatric community. Post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD delayed (symptoms of PTSD displayed beyond six months) … [Read more...]
Playing the money game with kids
So much pressure these days to work harder and longer hours. Meanwhile, the economy continues to ride an unpredictable roller coaster. It's important to pause and look closely at not only how we budget our money but what really, at the end of the day, brings our families pleasure and connection. So often our kids will come up and say, "Mom (or Dad), can I have 5 bucks for this and that?" … [Read more...]