Assumptions and presumptions. Tricky stuff. Here's an example: You're going on a first date but at the last minute receive a call canceling -- a family emergency has come up. Your date is very sorry ... hoping you will be willing to reschedule ... it can't be helped. In that moment there are a couple of choices. The path of presumption says that he or she didn't really want to go out … [Read more...]
‘Sometimes’ a great notion
How often we say the words "always" and "never" when we speak about events or experiences with people in our lives. Quite a lot, right? How many times have you heard someone blurt out, "I will never speak to (this or that person) again," or, "I'll never go to (this or that) restaurant again." Or, "I always go here every year for a vacation," or, "I always get my coffee every morning at this … [Read more...]
Taking the leap with ‘leading-first validation’
Many of us fear intimacy, for it often summons the unknown -- and the unknown can be scary. Still, intimacy is what we crave the most. We'd rather take the risk than not, in order to find that deep connection with others in which we feel that we're seen, heard and cared for. Fear of being hurt often prevents us from "being" with others the way we long to be treated. Here's a good approach … [Read more...]
Vive la différence! Well, for the most part …
What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and all things nice. Studies and life experience repeatedly show us that girls will be girls and boys will be boys -- for the most part. But what does that mean for us all when it comes to the world of relationships? I can give you a dollar a minute for each time my husband has said to me, "Yes but what’s the point of this?" or, "What’s the … [Read more...]
Facebook and Twitter and iPhones, oh my!
In this age of constant electronic communication, we are in danger of something being lost. Our human connections! Take a quick look in the window at Starbucks: How many coffee drinkers are working on their computers or talking on cell phones, shut off from everyone else in the cafe. We're increasingly expressing our feelings via text, email and social networks. Maybe with an emoticon for … [Read more...]