Here are my Rules of Fair Fighting: 1. When involved in an argument, speak about yourself, your experience, your feelings. Use language such as, "I felt angry" or "I felt sad" or "That caused me pain." Avoid: "You were an idiot" and "You made me mad!" Only the behavior of the other person caused you to feel a feeling. But whatever you felt was unique to you; the other person probably felt … [Read more...]
The mystery of you: Help your lover solve it
How many times do we refuse to ask for help from our life partners -- or not tell them how we feel about something -- because "they should already know." How many times have you heard yourself or someone else say: "If he (or she) really loved me, they would already know how I feel about this problem." Sorry to break the bad news: This is simply not true. Perhaps in a perfect world we might … [Read more...]
Don’t keep your creativity bottled up
Just how well do you know the genie that lies within you? So many of us haven’t even begun to explore the wealth of creativity inside us, that's kept bottled up like a genie. Often it's because we are afraid to experience shame if we fail at something new -- so why try at all? This is such a harsh message we give ourselves. Be a little kinder, a little more encouraging to your inner self. Do … [Read more...]
Things that go bump in your life
Monsters underneath the bed. Fear of the dark. Visits to the dentist or doctor. All pretty daunting experiences for a little one. Validating a child’s fear, anxiety, loneliness and pain -- helping them find ways to manage and cope -- is a critical part of the parenting role. When "scary" incidents from childhood go unattended by primary caregivers, these experiences become more traumatic, … [Read more...]
New Year’s resolutions you can keep
Resolutions often are thought of as a good way to start the new year, but be honest now -- how many of them do you really keep? How do you feel when you don’t measure up, and how many of these resolutions simply go by the wayside with a shrug and the thought. "Oh well, I’ll try again next year"? Consider another approach. Say to yourself, "I am going to set myself a New Year's … [Read more...]
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