Matthew 12:25 states, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste, and no city or household divided against itself will stand." While this Biblical wisdom may also be said of family systems, perhaps even more poignantly today it serves as a reminder of the stressful and disheartening state of conflict between our "houses" and "states" within the United States. A grave tear in the fabric of our proud and valiant country underscores today's immense strife and conflicts. Unprecedented in modern times, painful divisions exist … ( More )
The fire this time
In the heart of Los Angeles, an apocalyptic event struck seemingly out of nowhere. High winds, commonly referred to as the Santa Anas, are not unfamiliar to Angelenos. Nor are wildfires, brush fires or other … ( More )
Grief & loss: When we come to mourn
Grief & loss are guaranteed. We all face them as conscious, self-aware beings. No one is exempt. We come to mourn family, friends, pets, homes, aspects of ourselves lost through aging or illness -- all of … ( More )
The golden years … for sex
As the years go by, don’t let sexual contact and the resulting connection disappear from your relationship. They remain vital. Older couples often get set in their ways. Old habits do die hard. While the … ( More )
Mothers and teen sons: Finding a way
One of the toughest aspects of parenthood is dealing with the anger, rage and withdrawal that teenage boys direct toward their mothers. These turbulent emotions are unsettling, often leaving mothers confused … ( More )
My father the POW, ‘Fighting on Film’
I am the daughter of a British army prisoner of war at Changi, a notorious WWII camp in the jungles north of Singapore. My father, Percy Herbert, went on to become a film actor. His early movies included the … ( More )
Communication
The Beatles, psychologists of rock
Humming along to "Eleanor Rigby," I began listening more acutely to the astounding lyrics of this Beatles song from 1966. How profoundly insightful their … ( More )
The second wave of communication
During the Civil War, soldiers flanked tightly in a line would march toward the enemy on the battlefield. Inevitably, so many would fall down -- dead or … ( More )
The leading edge and the trailing edge
Here are some affirmations to manage the toxicity of shame. And steps toward effective communications in loving enduring relationships. 1. I remind … ( More )
Healing
When the hero takes a fall
While post-traumatic stress disorder is experienced by many, PTSD resulting from combat has an enduring impact on veterans. This emerges in hidden, … ( More )
Art and human beings: A formidable duo
Does art imitate life or does life imitate art? A puzzling question. One as old as time. We continue to stumble on and unearth myriad cultural … ( More )
Relationships
Couples intensive therapy: risks and rewards
Couples intensive therapy is for the courageous. For those who admit they've done all they can do on their own. It’s a brave, bold step for both parties … ( More )
At the movies: the observer and the observed
Hollywood has long presented psychotherapists and analysts as villains or saintly saviors, but around the turn of the century they became central … ( More )
When gratitude is in short supply
How often are small kindnesses extended without a second thought, simply an automatic gesture between human beings, just because. … Probably millions of … ( More )
Children
Coming home: the LGBTQ teen
Some of the biggest challenges parents face are with LGBTQ teens. Despite significant progress made in society regarding sexual preferences and alternative … ( More )
Boys and girls: A different way of thinking
Science tells us that boys and girls have marked distinctions and differences. Neither better nor worse. Neither good nor bad. Nonetheless these … ( More )