Bullying comes in all sorts of shapes, sizes and guises. There is no universal experience for its targets. At its core, bullying produces in victims some of the most debilitating and isolating of feelings. Those who suffer persistent bullying know profound feelings of low self-worth and self-doubt -- and often terror. In school, this abuse often leads students to withdraw and underachieve. … [Read more...]
Divorce and kids: How to help them
Even if a divorce is amicable and mutually agreed-upon, the children become particularly vulnerable. Seeing their parents break up brings major trauma. All children, somewhere deep inside, wish that everyone would stay together in a perfect world. When that doesn’t happen, there's a shattering that must be addressed. The pieces of valuable lives must put back together with sensitivity and … [Read more...]
Put your teen parenting skills to the test
Being a teen is doubly difficult. And scary. The following quiz is designed to walk you through some positive and effective ways of dealing with your teen. Answer all of the questions for a quick evaluation of your parenting style. (It might be easier to print out this quiz.) For each question, score yourself on a scale from 5 (best) to 0 (worst). Once you have a total, check your … [Read more...]
The subtle art of manipulation
Manipulation gets a bad rap. It's not always a bad thing. Sometimes manipulation can change a situation that might be headed in a harmful direction into a healing one. For example, Sarah, a teenager, is getting ready to go on her first date. She comes down the stairs and asks her parents if she looks OK. She is nervous, unsure of her appearance and could easily collapse into shame. … [Read more...]
A teen can be your greatest teacher
Treat your children and teens with compassion, and take what they have to say seriously. Admit and come to terms with the fact that your children feel pain and loneliness and shame more than you know. Realize that you have been instrumental in creating their pain and loneliness -- not entirely responsible, but you certainly have contributed. You have a shadow too, one that was created as a … [Read more...]