Even if a divorce is amicable and mutually agreed-upon, the children become particularly vulnerable. Seeing their parents break up brings major trauma. All children, somewhere deep inside, wish that everyone would stay together in a perfect world. When that doesn’t happen, there's a shattering that must be addressed. The pieces of valuable lives must put back together with sensitivity and … [Read more...]
Put your teen parenting skills to the test
Being a teen is doubly difficult. And scary. The following quiz is designed to walk you through some positive and effective ways of dealing with your teen. Answer all of the questions for a quick evaluation of your parenting style. (It might be easier to print out this quiz.) For each question, score yourself on a scale from 5 (best) to 0 (worst). Once you have a total, check your … [Read more...]
The subtle art of manipulation
Manipulation gets a bad rap. It's not always a bad thing. Sometimes manipulation can change a situation that might be headed in a harmful direction into a healing one. For example, Sarah, a teenager, is getting ready to go on her first date. She comes down the stairs and asks her parents if she looks OK. She is nervous, unsure of her appearance and could easily collapse into shame. … [Read more...]
A teen can be your greatest teacher
Treat your children and teens with compassion, and take what they have to say seriously. Admit and come to terms with the fact that your children feel pain and loneliness and shame more than you know. Realize that you have been instrumental in creating their pain and loneliness -- not entirely responsible, but you certainly have contributed. You have a shadow too, one that was created as a … [Read more...]
Helping teens cross the great divide
Contrary to belief, teenagers suffer from a great deal of loneliness and confusion. They need the guidance, love and support of parents as well as older neighbors and friends. Erik Erikson identified this developmental stage as "identity vs. role confusion," explaining why we often see teens experimenting with new ways of communicating -- clothing styles, music, creativity and offbeat … [Read more...]