There are times when turbulence feels like the norm. Life loses its predictability. What we see as the certainties of everyday life are not as certain as we’d like. Opening the daily paper or doomscrolling the news sites and social media, we’re confronted with one traumatic piece of information after another.
Such moments can be scary, leading to unexpected irritation and edginess. Maybe we snap at those we love. These responses are the result of feelings of loss we can’t quite put our finger on, at least not within the confines of our daily lives.
Troubled thoughts come and go — worries about children away at college or friends living overseas or even in the next town. A chill of uncertainly adds to the discomfort. What will today bring? How will the uncertainties affect me. How to be … and what to do?
In the current uncertain times, many of us are directly affected as the stock market trembles with the latest war news from the Middle East. 401k plans go up, down and sideways as if they were on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.
Suffering in isolation during times of universal stress is not uncommon. During Covid-19 days, among the toughest and most painful experiences came because of the enforced isolation. Our inability to reach out, to touch and hold, to share confusion, sadness, fears and thoughts and support of one another. Shouting across streets, holding hands up to the windows of senior citizens homes, eating meals at night without family members … a sense of loss and loneliness prevailed.
Today is not yesterday
Yet unlike in the days of Covid-19, thankfully there are some aspects of our lives that remain constant. Perhaps now would be the time to revisit such opportunities that are overlooked, even taken for granted. Our lives typically include others. At times like these, these people take on added value. Whether you have a large or small family, children near or far, or live in a large or small a community, there are many like-minded others you can lean on while feeling anxious or afraid. We find strength in our communities. We need to rely no them.
In a turbulent world, it is not uncommon that childhood traumas resurface. Historic fears are triggered. Memories of coping alone in a world beyond our control. It’s easy to forget in the moment that that was then and this is now. The child in us neglects to reach out for support, to commune with others. The isolation of the past does not have to be replicated in the present.
No doubt this rings true for many others. Step up: Be present for others’ needs. Perhaps they have similar feelings yet never shared them, out of shame or feeling that expressing vulnerability unduly burdens another.
Perhaps the opposite is the case. What if other people have a yearning to share, to express their vulnerable needs. Sometimes taking the step to say, “Do you feel like getting a cup of coffee?” “Do you feel like a walk this morning?” — even if this was unusual or perhaps has not happened in a long time. Why not now.
Turbulence tends to bring out the very best in people. Taking risks brings rewards. The world goes up and down and back and forth, yet as history has shown time and time again, one constant is the human capacity for kindness.
Offering comfort and solace as well as asking for them are key. When someone speaks up and says, “I’m not OK today,” imagine the relief that’s on offer when someone reaches back and says, “Me too. Let’s talk about that!”
The capacity for human contact proves enduring during turbulent times. Remarkably, this is just a phone call or a conversation away.
AI photo illustration: Firefly