Science tells us that boys and girls have marked distinctions and differences. Neither better nor worse. Neither good nor bad. Nonetheless these distinctions have significant impacts on how they walk in the world.
For example, it often seems girls are more adept than boys at thoughtful communication. There are good reasons for this:
Scientists and psychologists long have known that girls’ language development, specifically in reading and writing, runs about 1 year to 1 1/2 years ahead of boys’ development.
This may be the result of a female’s ability to readily utilize both sides of her brain for creative thinking patterns.
Douglas Burman, a specialist in anatomy, confirms that language-related brain activity in girls occurs on both sides of the brain, whereas the activity in boys was mostly evident on the left side. Generally, these differences begin early and continue through the teenage years and even into adulthood.
Not surprisingly, there has been a lot of research dedicated to these types of male-female differences and traits. For instance, adult male brains are on average 6 percent to 10 percent larger than female brains, but Harvard researchers suggest that females counter with that connectivity between hemispheres.
The ability to fire off words actually relies on two distinct brain areas: the parietotemporal area, where speech and language are processed; and the frontal lobe, which controls decision-making. At the age of 13, girls are simply further along in having those two brain areas connected.
While nature has wired male and female brains in distinct ways, it is important to recognize that nurture also plays a crucial role in how teens develop.
This means girls’ proclivity to communicate is also the result of social conditioning. Boys are more inclined toward problem-solving; they tend toward getting to “the bottom of issues.” Girls are more likely to talk through what’s at hand while trying to relate to others’ perspectives and problems.
None of this means adolescent females are guaranteed to be more skilled at speaking than boys, but perhaps indicates that girls are more apt to attempt communication about what’s on their minds.
While language develops earlier for girls, both hearing and sight are more developmental for boys. Neither pattern is more advantageous than the other. Several studies show that male and female adults use different parts of the brain to sound out words or read aloud: Different paths can lead to the same result.
Time is key as boys’ communication skills are sure to catch up. Patience is needed from parents, who should recognize these are simply developmental and anatomical differences. Parents should avoid jumping to the conclusion that, for example, a male does not want to talk or share. Or he doesn’t have feelings about a particular issue, which is often far from the truth. (It is imperative to be open-minded when it comes to making gender-specific delineations.)
Girls, in general, are often conditioned to be more relationally oriented and communication-focused when dealing with their families. They often are required to become containers of emotions and emotional support. While this can be a burden at times for girls — whose voices also need to be heard — a male parent or sibling can provide balance by taking time to listen to their feelings and thoughts, and to provide mindful empathic responses.
Opening up a patient dialogue may also provide space for males to share some of their emotions and experiences.
Encourage our boys to be more open more often. Encourage our girls to risk bottom-lining now and then. This is a wonderful opportunity to create a path of balance through adolescence and beyond.