Back in the day there was a famous horse named Trigger. He was a 15-hand palomino rode by cowboy star Roy Rogers.
Times have changed just a little!
Today the word “trigger” has been repurposed and embraced by the therapeutic community. It has complex meanings and interpretations, but usually refers to reactions and feelings activated in the present but relating to the past. Triggers may bring memories of painful, scary, humiliating (or even pleasurable) emotional experiences. From a time when thoughts and feelings were left unattended and unintegrated.
Painful triggered memories often produce overwhelming and disorienting emotions; they cloud thoughts in the present, creating distress. Things become confusing … and complicated.
Triggers can be blindsiding. They throw even the most controlled and organized person into disarray. Negative triggers may have dire consequences for the sufferer and for those around him if they are not recognized for what they are. They can lead to exaggerated responses, distorted perceptions, false accusations and unnecessary losses, to name but a few problems.
Triggered emotions can be as powerful in the moment as if the person were transported into the past in a split second.
When childhood feelings were suppressed out of fear of retribution or because the youngster was not allowed to feel at home — or when the child’s voice simply was not valued — the feelings associated with this pain became bottled up. Often years pass before a trigger evokes a memory that seems familiar, yet out of reach. The resulting eruption of feelings can pour out toward someone who had no role in the sufferer’s past.
When such eruptions subside, the person manifesting the outpouring, or the person on the receiving end, feels confused and/or hurt. In defense, the target may hurl back his own set of triggers, creating an unfortunate chaos. Ghosts from the past now go to battle in distorted and unreasonable ways. Both parties are caught in an historical web, neither conscious of how he got to this place to begin with. Separating past pain from the here and now becomes almost impossible.
Recognizing triggers is important, for often these prompts interfere with present-day functioning. Maintaining reasonable perspectives and worldviews becomes difficult. Balanced perspectives that may have included joy or happiness are lost, as are healthful ways to approach a situation (or a person) for an optimum outcome.
Know that triggers are going to assert themselves from time to time. The trick — and this requires practice and skill — is learning to cope when they are activated.
Be kind with yourself, and gently examine what caused you pain as a child. Who made hurtful comments? Who ignored you? Which experiences did you process as a product of neglect? Even if these past slights were unintended, untapped memories continue to bleed into the here and now, especially if left unexamined.
Learning to cope with powerful triggers in the moment is a healthful tool for maintaining flexibility and preservation of self-worth and dignity, even in the toughest of situations.
In reality, most of us are triggered at least once if not more many times in one day.
Triggers show up in a host of ways. They include some of the following:
- The physical presence of a perfect stranger — a gesture, a glance, a glare, maybe not even one intended for you. If a stranger reminds you of someone from the past who had had a negative impact, in the blink of an eye an open wound may appear. These human triggers understandably become bewildered by your reactions or behaviors, which do not contextually relate to the present.
- Smells, which are powerful triggers. Reminiscent of old familiar places, yet also producing painful memories.
- An inanimate object. Perhaps a painting, a vase, a piece of jewelry.
- An animal, which may trigger unexpected emotions. For example, a friend’s new puppy runs for a ball in the same way your pooch used to — triggering grief left unexpressed at the time of the passing of your beloved dog.
- An expression or a sentence recalling unresolved trauma or a loss.
Recognizing our triggers and learning to take a beat when they arise help regulate our emotions. This understanding creates healing pathways in the present — and into the future.
More on this psychotherapy topic: Getting to know triggers from the past
Photo: Nicholas Balmer