How often do we really listen to the ones we love? And when we do, why are we so ready to defend and justify our behaviors that our loved ones say are harmful?
What if just for a moment, we take that essential beat and then turn to healing thoughts such as these:
- If this person didn’t care about me he would not be hurt by me.
- I impact this person, therefore I must matter a lot to her.
- He needs me to care about his feelings. He wants to connect with me.
- She has expressed her pain because she cares about me.
- I matter to him, therefore he matters to me.
- I love this person and I can now hear her pain because I have given myself this perspective: Not only is this person important to me, but I see just how important I am to her.
- I have been afraid that I am not important — not worth loving — and so I have conditioned myself to be emotionally closed. In doing so I not only rob myself of being truly loved, but also of the healthful act of letting someone love me.
- By allowing the ones I care about to express their pain, anger and loss, I now realize that I am needed, I am wanted, I am loved.
- I can bear so much more with this new awareness.