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Helping teens cross the great divide

September 13, 2008 By Dr. Katrina Wood

teenagers share secrets

Contrary to belief, teenagers suffer from a great deal of loneliness and confusion. They need the guidance, love and support of parents as well as older neighbors and friends.

Erik Erikson identified this developmental stage as “identity vs. role confusion,” explaining why we often see teens experimenting with new ways of communicating — clothing styles, music, creativity and offbeat behaviors. They are trying to find themselves and often seek out “tribes” to belong to, to support their exploration of identity.

Ways in which you can help:

As a parent, caregiver, close friend or neighbor, take the time to inquire about something new you are noticing about the teens. Open up a conversation and take the time to listen.

Teens have a desire to be known, seen and heard. How many of you know the names of your teen’s favorite bands, or what they like in art, movies, cartoons, fashion. Ask.

Listen to their political views. Even if you don’t agree, take the time to try to see their points of view. Avoid getting into debates; make their POV the priority. (You’ll have plenty of other opportunities to debate politics with other adults!)

Give teens the space to be known, the freedom to share their ideas with you. This will be invaluable for them — in terms of self-worth and self-acceptance — as they make their way in a world in which they still are unsure and are struggling to make sense of.

Take Dr. Katrina’s test for parents of teenagers. How will you score?

More related content: “A Teen Can Be Your Greatest Teacher“

Filed Under: children, parenting Tagged With: teenagers

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Southern California psychotherapistKatrina Wood is an author, lecturer and certified life coach focusing on psychotherapy and emotional healing. She lives in Los Angeles, where she runs the Wilshire/Valley psychotherapy center. ( More )

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This blog discusses psychotherapy issues in a general way. Readers should address pressing concerns via their personal-growth support system. Some problems covered here are best handled directly by mental health providers.

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