Ever noticed that when you are tired, irritable, angry or feeling hurt by someone that you’re most likely going to begin a sentence with “You”?
Here’s my first tip: Begin your sentence with “I”
It makes you the focus of whatever it is you want to communicate. “I” puts you in a position of power, and keeps the focus on the importance of your experience.
The second tip is to take a beat or a pause — then try to focus on what you would like to see happen in the exchange between yourself and the person who has hurt you or made you angry.
Keeping the focus on what you would like to see happen again gives you permission to see that what you want is important, even though in that moment (or exchange with another) it didn’t seem that was the case.
What you want is important! You have the right to be heard and negotiate your wants with another.
If your wants are not considered by the person who has hurt you or caused you to be angry, then it is important to reflect on who this person is in your life and what type of relationship it is you seek.
Are you hoping for and wanting something that might not be possible?
Read more about opening the lines of communication and the language of emotion.