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Choosing ‘good enough’ over perfection

January 2, 2011 By Dr. Katrina Wood

thumbs up is OK

In the 1950s, a wise pediatrician from Great Britain named David Winnicott came up the idea of the “good enough” parent.

Having treated children and families for many years, Dr. Winnicott recognized that children do well when a parent does a “good enough” job raising them.

What that meant from his perspective was for parents to provide good enough custodian care and good enough emotional care for child. Both being important.  Perfection in parenting was not something to strive for.

Going through life, the good-enough concept still rings true. That means being neither too harsh nor too easy on ourselves. Creating a daily balance of compassion, discipline and self respect for ourselves and others.

Learning about improvement from a baseline of self love, not self loathing. Striving to be more from a baseline of already being good enough.

Staying true to the good enough concept helps keep us sane and healthy in a world that imposes the importance of continual excellence and perfection — often leading to shame and feelings of low self worth.

The harsh and impossible world of perfection often leads to isolation and loneliness. Replace those expectations with the good-enough idea.

You’ll have closer relationships with others, a healthier self concept — and a lot more fun. Try it on for size.

Have a Good Enough and Fun-Filled New Year!

Filed Under: good vibrations, parenting

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Southern California psychotherapistKatrina Wood is an author, lecturer and certified life coach focusing on psychotherapy and emotional healing. She lives in Los Angeles, where she runs the Wilshire/Valley psychotherapy center. ( More )

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This blog discusses psychotherapy issues in a general way. Readers should address pressing concerns via their personal-growth support system. Some problems covered here are best handled directly by mental health providers.

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