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You gotta right to sing the blues
In a society that demands we “have a nice day” and keep up our perky smiles, what do you do if you just don’t feel that way on any given day?
We all have down days — times when nothing is going right, and we wonder if it ever will.
It’s important to normalize these down days when you only want to sing the blues.
A variety of moods are essential to our human condition. Our feelings ebb and flow like the tides. If we were to feel only one way every single day, we just wouldn’t be human.
Give yourself permission to have a down day, or two, or three. If you want to be alone and cocoon for a while that’s fine. We all need “alone time”; we all need down time and down days.
A sense of time and space is critical when you’re feeling this way, however. Be aware of how long the down time continues. The shift from having a case of the blahs to needing help and support is when your mindfulness must come into play.
After a few days, this time spent alone has gone on long enough. You must reach out from this isolation, deliberately seeking support.
If you haven’t spoken to anyone for a while, reach out and share how you are feeling. Letting a trusted friend know what is bugging you is essential. A caring person with an alternative perspective will provide help and support.
There is a fine line between singing the blues and sinking into depression. Don’t let that sad song go on too long.
Find a teammate to share your dreams
I came upon this passage from motivational writer Walter Jackson and wanted to share it:
“In 1968, two young football rookies, Art Shell and Gene Upshaw, became best friends when they met at the Oakland Raiders training camp. They would imagine their dreams and share them with one another.
“Gene Upshaw hoped one day to be a politician, and Art Shell wanted to be a football coach, they both longed to be elected to the Football Hall of Fame.
“By 1987, their dreams started becoming reality. Upshaw, who by then was the executive director of the NFL Players Association, was inducted into the Hall of Fame.
“Later that year, it was Shell’s turn. He became the NFL’s first African American head coach in 64 years when he was named coach of the Los Angeles Raiders. When Shell heard the news, he called Gene, who was elated, ‘I can’t believe it, Gene,’ he said. ‘All those plans we made years ago have actually come true.’ ”
You too can be as Shell and Upshaw. Think outside the box and dare to dream. Hold those dreams close to your heart, mind and soul, and dare to share them with another person who also dares to dream.
Partnering the creative images in your mind can be a powerful motivational resource — one that creates feelings of hope and deeper closeness with trusted people in your life.
Like two children who sat on a stoop outside a house, playing games and imaging their futures, these two men trusted one another to hold and support their innermost hopes for their futures — as fantastic as those hopes were.
The power of sharing not only gave them strength, it became a bond, a thread — a lifelong bond built on love, support and endurance.
While these men’s wildest dreams came true, the values of being there for one another was of a greater worth — a bond that stood the test of time.
When Upshaw died in 2008, Shell hailed his friend as “a pillar of strength and leadership.”
So share your dreams with someone who also dares to dream. You might just find a kindred spirit along life’s journey.
Marital and premarital therapy tips
Dr. Katrina Wood and her guests talk about moving from “singledom” to marriage. “When you get into a relationship, there are aspects of you which you didn’t even know existed,” Katrina says. “You can only know yourself from (your) subjective view until someone else holds up a mirror. That’s when premarital counseling becomes pretty important.” With her are licensed therapists Chuck Moshontz and Clarissa Abijaoudi.
View more of Dr. Katrina’s psychotherapy videos on YouTube.
Related content:
The mystery of you: Help your lover solve it
Sexual healing for your relationship
Learning the language of emotion
CDs to soothe the soul
My Relaxation Reverie CD collection offers meditation, guided-imagery and relaxation audio. My new website, Cozy Children, is the place for children's audio stories.
Here are three audio samples:
Fall Reverie
Magic Forest
Toy Store