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Depression: Don’t suffer needlessly
Depression affects millions of Americans every year. If untreated, depression can become a debilitating and dangerous disease.
There are many reasons for depression and there are many treatment approaches to help people recover. It’s important to recognize some of the symptoms and not minimize or deny them. They can sneak up on you.
Are you experiencing any of the following?
1. Difficulty concentrating.
2. Feelings of low self worth.
3. Difficulty sleeping, insomnia.
4. Loss of interest in day-to-day issues.
5. Feelings of sadness or anger during the day.
Any of these could be an indicator that you’re suffering from depression.
It’s possible there are losses or bad experiences in your life — past or present — that have affected or impacted you. If you’ve not had adequate outlet for your feelings about these experiences, then it’s possible you’re suffering from depression.
Lack of emotional and psychological support can be major contributors to depression. Everyone needs help and support throughout life, as well as the ability to express feelings over losses — and to grieve. When expression of normal emotions does not occur, impacted losses can build up over time and allow depression to set in.
Talk therapy, group therapy, church support, community support are essential for mental health. Seek out the help you need. There is nothing to be ashamed of — on the contrary, asking for help is the first step toward recovery.
At times, medication can be an important adjunct to talk therapy and group support.
Seeking out a good, warm and receptive psychiatrist can be a good option. Remember, sometimes a good antidepressant can help you get through a difficult phase. Accepting this help does not mean you have to be on medication forever.
In brief: Remember that depression is a disease that can and should be addressed. Don’t minimize how you feel or play down the pain that comes from hurtful life experiences. Your feelings truly matter. Your right to express and be heard and valued is essential.
Seeking help is the first step.
Take your daily dose of happiness
Given all the stress and responsibility in our busy lives, it’s important to remember to interrupt the day with little nurturing interventions that will serve us in a loving and gentle way.
The happiness in our lives comes in part from the way we treat ourselves and expect to be treated by others.
Here are some tips to help you get through your day with more self-care and self-love.
- Find your favorite music and take the time to listen on the way to your work, or while you are at home. Listening to music is more soothing for the soul than, say for example, watching television.
- Every hour or two, enjoy a nurturing nourishing snack and a nice beverage. Take the time to sip and munch slowly — and enjoy the experience.
- Read the comics in the newspaper; seek out a humorous story and let yourself laugh out loud.
- Do something small and kind for someone else.
- Be aware when you’re dwelling on something negative. See if you’re able to distract yourself. Take a time out. Redirecting your attention to something positive can bring some much-needed balance.
- If you are not able to focus on something positive, take yourself for a walk and see if the environment can bring some balance. During the walk, notice how the air feels on your skin, the moisture in the air, the sounds of the birds, the smell of flowers in the neighborhood. Let nature bring you something soothing if you’re not able to create it yourself.
- Call up a friend and chat for a while; reach out to someone you care about and trust. Don’t feel you have to shoulder so much alone.
- Pruning a bonsai tree can be very therapeutic and calming. Just take a few minutes each day to keep your tree in shape. It can be a form of daily meditation for you.
- You might want to put a photo or a few of your loved ones above your work area or perhaps some of your pets, so that when you take a break or look up from your work you will be able to feel the heart connection you have with those you love.
- Remember to take a breath and count to 10 before responding to anyone in the work place who makes a comment that might be hurtful to you or make you feel angry. Breathe, count to 10 and then you’ll be able to respond rather than react. Reactivity is stress-making, while responding places you in control of a situation. Remember no one can define the importance of your worth but you. If you think someone is trying to devalue you, take that breath, tell yourself, “I have deep worth, and I will respond to this situation knowing I have deep worth.”
- Freud said life is all about love and work. I’d like to add one more thing: fun! Try to keep your sense of humor during the day and plan to have fun sometime after you leave work, in whatever form that takes for you.
- On your lunch break, take a short walk. If possible, go somewhere you can see nature — or just be around a fountain — and spend 10 minutes.
- Eat nutritious snacks, or suck on a mint every couple of hours or some crystalized ginger, which has a calming effect.
- Take an iPod and play your favorite music on your breaks — music definitely can lift your spirits.
Helping teens cross the great divide
Contrary to belief, teenagers suffer from a great deal of loneliness and confusion. They need the guidance, love and support of parents as well as older neighbors and friends.
Erik Erikson identified this developmental stage as “identity vs. role confusion,” explaining why we often see teens experimenting with new ways of communicating — clothing styles, music, creativity and offbeat behaviors. They are trying to find themselves and often seek out “tribes” to belong to, to support their exploration of identity.
Ways in which you can help:
As a parent, caregiver, close friend or neighbor, take the time to inquire about something new you are noticing about the teens. Open up a conversation and take the time to listen.
Teens have a desire to be known, seen and heard. How many of you know the names of your teen’s favorite bands, or what they like in art, movies, cartoons, fashion. Ask.
Listen to their political views. Even if you don’t agree, take the time to try to see their points of view. Avoid getting into debates — make their POV the priority. (You’ll have plenty of other opportunities to debate politics with other adults!)
Give teens the space to be known, the freedom to share their ideas with you. This will be invaluable for them — in terms of self-worth and self-acceptance — as they make their way in a world in which they still are unsure and are struggling to make sense of.
Take Dr. Katrina’s test for parents of teenagers. How will you score?
More related content: “A Teen Can Be Your Greatest Teacher“
Simple communication skills to ease the day
Ever noticed that when you are tired, irritable, angry or feeling hurt by someone that you’re most likely going to begin a sentence with “You”?
Here’s my first tip: Begin your sentence with “I”
It makes you the focus of whatever it is you want to communicate. “I” puts you in a position of power, and keeps the focus on the importance of your experience.
The second tip is to take a beat or a pause — then try to focus on what you would like to see happen in the exchange between yourself and the person who has hurt you or made you angry.
Keeping the focus on what you would like to see happen again gives you permission to see that what you want is important, even though in that moment (or exchange with another) it didn’t seem that was the case.
What you want is important! You have the right to be heard and negotiate your wants with another.
If your wants are not considered by the person who has hurt you or caused you to be angry, then it is important to reflect on who this person is in your life and what type of relationship it is you seek.
Are you hoping for and wanting something that might not be possible?
Read more about opening the lines of communication and the language of emotion.
7 ways to tame stress in the workplace
Here are a few simple and helpful tips to cut back on stress in the workplace.
Work can be a source of joy or constant anxiety. Usually, it’s somewhere in between. Some things are under your control; many others are not.
Techniques as simple as taking a a deep breath and counting to 10 can make a big difference in the quality of your work life.
Exciting things are happening here
Welcome to my blog.
I want to let you know a little about myself — please check out About Dr. Katrina Wood. I hope you’ll find interest in all things psychological that come and go from this ongoing online project.
Over time I will be bringing you articles from my colleagues and peers as well as therapists in the community who have interesting and insightful thoughts and writings in various fields of expertise.
I also will be bringing you resources on multiple areas of psychology as well as my own personal insights and interpretations on current issues of the day.
You might want to get my updates sent to you automatically via email or RSS — or follow drkatrina on Twitter.
This is a new and exciting endeavor for me.
We are learning so much so fast about psychology these days it’s hard to keep up, but one thing that I have come to learn that is constant, is that at the end of the day it is the right relationships that heal us.
More about that later. As you will see this is an issue that I will be harping on until you get thoroughly bored of me!
CDs to soothe the soul
My Relaxation Reverie CD collection offers meditation, guided-imagery and relaxation audio. My new website, Cozy Children, is the place for children's audio stories.
Here are three audio samples:
Fall Reverie
Magic Forest
Toy Store