Even if a divorce is amicable and mutually agreed-upon, the children become particularly vulnerable. Seeing their parents break up brings major trauma. All children, somewhere deep inside, wish that everyone would stay together in a perfect world. When that doesn’t happen, there's a shattering that must be addressed. The pieces of valuable lives must put back together with sensitivity and … [Read more...]
Sorry seems to be the hardest word
We often think that saying "I'm sorry" is an admission of being flawed or weak. After hurting another person, we feel bad but still resist saying those two words -- usually for fear of feeling shame or humiliation. Or for fear we're lowering ourselves. Instead, we hear ourselves saying words like "I apologize" or "I didn't mean to hurt or upset you" -- anything but "I am sorry." Something … [Read more...]
Put your teen parenting skills to the test
Being a teen is doubly difficult. And scary. The following quiz is designed to walk you through some positive and effective ways of dealing with your teen. Answer all of the questions for a quick evaluation of your parenting style. (It might be easier to print out this quiz.) For each question, score yourself on a scale from 5 (best) to 0 (worst). Once you have a total, check your … [Read more...]
In defense of being ‘touchy feely’
The whole notion of people being too "touchy feely" is just a bad rap. Tough-love books such as "The Blessing of a Skinned Knee" have their place … up to a point. The truth, however, is that most of us rarely if ever truly express a true feeling. We tend to skirt around the subject. If you ask an adult how they felt about being passed over for a job, or being dumped by a boyfriend, … [Read more...]
Co-parenting through divorce: an upside
These days the courts are filled with couples going through bitter and painful divorces. Who suffers the most? The children, of course. Caught in a web of bitter resentment, hostility and shame created by their parents, children have little or no defenses. They can't protect themselves against the rock that they are shattered -- unable to "choose" one parent over the other. Children love … [Read more...]
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