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Why do we mourn for celebrities?
There are a few celebrities whose lives and deaths touched us in ways that we can’t always put into words.
Year after year, as the anniversaries of their passings come around, we take a moment to pause, reflect and mourn the loss of such lives.
John Lennon was mourned once again last month on the 30th anniversary of his death — a day always recalled by radio and the media. Hearing such memorable tunes as “Imagine” transported many of us back to that chilling night — and we recall exactly where we were upon first hearing of the ex-Beatle’s death.
We relate with the part of John Lennon that resides deep within us. His humor, innocence and wisdom. His deep sensitivities and his internal struggles, which he bore for the world to witness in so many ways. The depth of his passions. The ever-developing expansion of his musical talent.
Perhaps most of all it was this exceptional man’s down-to-earth way of touching — and being touched by — the average working person. That he was our voice in the wilderness, reaching for something more, fearlessly seeking deeper bonds with others.
These are some of the reasons we mourn so deeply for one such as John Lennon.
When news of Princess Di’s fatal car accident ricocheted through the media in August 1997, the world came to its knees. Shock set in as global mourning began for the “people’s princess.” How hard it was to absorb the tragic news of such a young woman’s passing.
Was it Diana’s heart, her love of children, her tireless work for the underprivileged or even her naivete that we treasured? So many people felt Diana was a part of their personal lives.
Diana marked the changing of an era in the Royal Monarchy in Great Britain. Her personality and connection with “the people” closed a gap in the emotional distance that the nation had experienced for so long. Certainly Diana took greater risks in this area than her predecessors.
As with John Lennon, the circumstances of Princess Di’s death were both horrifying and traumatic. Both of these tragedies underscored the fleetingness of time — and the importance of living in the moment the best way we can.
In many ways Lennon and Di presented an ideal of the best that is possible in human nature. Perhaps that is why the losses remain so deeply felt.
Despite these celebrities’ faults, misgivings, and shortcomings, at the end of the day they reminded us that hope, love and compassion are values to carry with us each and every day.
As the anniversaries of these passings come around, we are reminded of the their gifts for us. Legacies to manifest in our own lives and to share — not only with those we love but also with the strangers we meet and those we have yet to meet on life’s highway.
Choosing ‘good enough’ over perfection
In the 1950s, a wise pediatrician from Great Britain named David Winnicott came up the idea of the “good enough” parent.
Having treated children and families for many years, Dr. Winnicott recognized that children do well when a parent does a “good enough” job raising them.
What that meant from his perspective was for parents to provide good enough custodian care and good enough emotional care for child. Both being important. Perfection in parenting was not something to strive for.
Going through life, the good enough concept still rings true. That means being neither too harsh nor too easy on ourselves. Creating a daily balance of compassion, discipline and self respect for ourselves and others.
Learning about improvement from a baseline of self love, not self loathing. Striving to be more from a baseline of already being good enough.
Staying true to the good enough concept helps keep us sane and healthy in a world that imposes the importance of continual excellence and perfection — often leading to shame and feelings of low self worth.
The harsh and impossible world of perfection often leads to isolation and loneliness. Replace those expectations with the good enough idea.
You’ll have closer relationships with others, a healthier self concept — and a lot more fun. Try it on for size.
Have a Good Enough and Fun-Filled New Year!
CDs to soothe the soul
My Relaxation Reverie CD collection offers meditation, guided-imagery and relaxation audio. My new website, Cozy Children, is the place for children's audio stories.
Here are three audio samples:
Fall Reverie
Magic Forest
Toy Store